i hope

i hope i can achieve my dream
i need it to come true
i need to know the answer
i need to seek that person
i need to change my life
i need my heart to become one again
i need it to be calm and
seek him....
i need to know if he remember me...
my friend told me he remember but love
can happen in many ways
i know he may be in love right now with someone
but can anybody stop this feeling from coming to u
no,u can't
and it doesn't matter if u are a boy or girl
it still comes unexpectedly
i want to be in my fav country even
if something goes wrong
i was wondering the necklace i gave 2 u..can
u recognize me when i grow up??
will u remember me..
i hope u do remember me...
i just need to know the answer
even if the result is good/bad...
then,i'll be ok...
i hope u remember me
i hope i can ask for ur help when
i'm already reach my goal~
do u remember me,do u wear tat necklace??
i hope u do~

stupid

i'm stupid i guest...he wants serious,i'm not!we just like met on fcebook..and for me it's only like not serious becoz i knew he will find other 2....and me too...
but 2 days ago,he drive me crazy..i wanted to end but he will think i'm bad person....
can't it just be like for fun??
so if we find other couple,we not that emosional..
i scared2 be emotional n at the same
i have no one to discuss with that day when he drive me crazy,i almost cry..i don't want it 2 be serious..
only this com will be like friends 2 me...
until blew out n tell him how hard my life is(in short form of coz)
n he said..he living like i'm living 2..so stop it...he knows it hard but he still wants me pay more attention..i know it's stupid but i can't be mean 2 him coz he also have one thing incommon with hard life i have..
but it tears me down when i started 2 pay attention on him,n he was like 'owhkay2x,u change blah2x'
wat was that??stupid!i already told him i'm kinda 0% about wat they called 'LOVE'
is that hard 2 understand??
i'm kinda rebellous...i don't have tyme to pay attention on him when i'm with my mum..my mum needs love from me 2..is it hard for him 2 understand....i don't want someone like that..this is why i don't want to be in love,they don't get it....my dream boy in 1b..i still felt sparkle for him...i wish he was the one wif me

i'm kinda "don't know what 2 do"

well,should i not accept n' should i accept coz i like the other in 1b..he's like the dream boy of mine but the other one,i scared i will onlyu make him a as a replacement 4 the guy in 1b..is this right desicion??accept him??
what about the guy in 1b??be4 i even try to get his phone number i already give up on him and accept other//hrmm..

gay much....

Brideshead revisited

-a story about forbiden love
this tymes it's different..it's not because of both faily agaisnt it but the brothers of the girl,sebastian is a gay n he likes his best friend charles.......

so sad..it's a sad story although it's a lil bit story about normal guy and a gay and a girl...it starts with boring story but after the halfway then the gay guy started 2 show his emotions..the sad moment is the gay guy have a terrible lung disease which his lungs actually full with fluid/liquid n he can't walk in such long distance..

thinking bout u,am i'm love wif someone i never talk 2///

~comparison are easily done once have a chacnce
~like the apple hanging from a tree
~i pick ripest one,i still got the seed
~u set me on,where do i grow??
i'm thinking bout him but i don't want to be over him,scared he brke my heart that already sealed by unhealed wound...

                                                
i want edgy or glam rock style..thinking bout it..                                                                          

                

I OPENED UP ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE..btw maybe who read this think i'm stupid n crazy

it's a no fairytales
maybe who read think i'm stupid
or think love life is a secret
but i'm bored of keeping it
keeping it away from my mom and dad.....
i do have feelings but it's not that strong feeling towards love....
maybe i'm stupid,maybe it's stupid.


at first..it was just a playgame 4 me
i took someone n dump him
becoz i don't feel like i want to be in loved
but i've broken up 2....
i see my mum with her bf(she's divorce)
she's is broken up...she needs fix
and it's so sad when she tell..
iqa,don't be in loved,,mens are useless,they just hurts
the girls out there..u see wat happens
2 me...but don't she think..i'm growing up..i have feelings like
other people 2....sometymes when i'm in loved i think bout her,
she must be broken up if she knew i was in loved so i just shut my love life
just like that
and be4 i knew it...all the love is turns 2 ashes no matter who i in love with
if he likes me then he don't like me..i just shut it off,,if don't like the person,i shut it off
if i like the person...i just shut it off coz i know he loves someone else..
so i'm like a robot when it comes 2 love,i hurt and the memory just slip away..and i replace it with anotherr memory of me n my family..
keep going on......

i never felt love in my heart..it's not that i ever hurt or wat
but it's naturally comes and suddenly the sparkle of love is gone
i don't know if i've been bad girl or wat..
but maybe god trying 2 not let me in loved coz if i'm in
maybe i'll be the broken hearted girl....
once i felt it and the scars are still there....


 don't know if i'm a stupid girl..all
i know is my love life is complicated
and when i'm in love,nothing goods came from it...

so wat is love???
maybe 2 those who in loved thinks love is sweet
but 2 me it brings bitterness,sometymes sweetness,confussion,tears and colours...


i'm not good in this love maze but i'm just always the girl who felt in love but i just
give up my love......tell ne why???ain't nothing but a heartache.....

love always bring me bad tymes so far
and when touch the love,it leave me
alone darkness forever..it keep coming but it always end
with thebroken glass

i seek my own self ,i try 2 figure wat is left
when i see wat left 4 me,i step out of
love.....i just so fed thinking be in loved
it's like freedom i searching for

it's hard for me to not care about it
i keep this secret form my 'rents
it's 2 hard when ur 'rents think u are
a little who is clean,who
is never be in loved,who is never have feeling towards


owh!my world is crashing down on me
please save me n take me away from this
situation owh god..
people think i'm stupid,people talk 2 me
i know nothing about love..tha's why i always
broken up by my love

i see this shadows of me,it walks alone with it's head down..
maybe i'm stupid,maybe i'm not ready 2 be in love
17 is hard 4 me..secret all in me
try break 2 free from myself..
all i can i do is watching
i'm sick of all my llife
owh god..please save me

no,i don't want another emotional breakdown

p/s:BTW..i'm not gonna kill myself becoz of love..
      i appreciate my life that is been given 2 me...